von Choice of Eatery
In choosing a restaurant it is important to respect a child’s needs and what will be comfortable for him. Very formal restaurants just aren’t going to work for small children. If junior is miserable everyone else will be, too — including fellow diners and the entire restaurant staff. The motto here is, “Ain’t baby happy, aint nobody happy”. There are plenty of informal regional restaurants, country-style inns, cafés, and street-side eateries in Europe with excellent, even exquisite food and beverages where the little gnomes will feel comfortable and not be found a disturbance to other guests.
Many European restaurants post their menus outside the door. As you inspect the menu for hints on quality and style, check to see if there is also a children’s menu. If so, you can be fairly sure that your child will be welcomed.
Children love the ease and sensuality of eating with their hands, but you don’t have to limit yourself to hamburgers, pizzas, and pommes frites. Grazing the open-air farmers’ markets and streetside stands of Europe provide a colorful opportunity to try a wide variety of regional foods and artisanal products side by side with the locals.
Always make reservations
Reservations are recommended for most restaurants in Europe. It’s always embarrassing to invite someone out for dinner and end up being turned away at the door and if your guest is your sensitive and tender child, she will suddenly suffer acute signs of malnutrition and severe neglect. If you aren’t able to procure a table at an acceptable restaurant within 10 minutes, you will end up being the best dressed customer at the nearest fast food joint.
When making a reservation you should state that you plan on coming with a child. If children are not welcome, the restaurant can save face by claiming that they are completely booked out and you’ll be spared an uncomfortable evening.
Necessary Equipment
No experienced mom leaves the house without a “survival kit” and there is no need to explain which basics it should contain. Visiting a restaurant does pose an extra challenge, though. Keep in mind that not all restaurants have highchairs nor will they always have adequate space for a stroller or buggy next to your table. Consider investing in one of those nifty small portable seating alternatives for children that will allow restaurant personnel good freedom of movement between tables.
Having something interesting along to keep your child quietly occupied when he is not eating is essential. Noisy toys and beeping electronic games are disturbing to other guests. Drawing utensils or games for paper and pencil are favorites of experienced parents. Bringing a table mat along to protect the table will be met by an approving nod from the waiter who has momentarily been fooled into believing that he will not have to change the tablecloth after your departure.
Landscape assessment
Keep an eye out for dangers and obstacles. If you can work it out, try to choose a table away from the drafty entrance, swinging doors, cutting machines and sharp utensils and yet not too far from the all-important WC. Perhaps there is even a terrace, a play area or a nearby corner where your child may leave the table without disturbing other guests and still remain within your view. If so, take a thorough critical look before sending your child off to play. I have discovered everything from deep uncovered wells to unfenced embankments in restaurant gardens. Unless you’re keen on making public enemies, NEVER let your child wander unattended through the restaurant.
Discerning mothers know how unpredictable active toddlers can be and quickly let waiters know their preference for a minimalist table. Service personnel are usually relieved to receive permission to remove all breakable items and unnecessary weaponry from the table. During the meal, judicious caution of hidden hazards like large tipsy glasses, searing plates and blistering hot beverages or soups is wise.
A child should be seated with his back to the wall providing an interesting view of the restaurant and its activities. Children find people-watching just as entertaining as adults do. With the privileged chair, your child won’t have the need to crane his neck and turn around while possibly knocking things from the table. Discreetly observing that eccentric woman with the huge hat at the neighboring table as she feeds her lap dog slices of smoked duck or catching the debonair young man as he picks his nose whenever his date isn’t looking just might be fascinating enough to make it unnecessary for your precocious child to leave the table or take out drawing materials at all.
Choosing from the Menu and Nutritional Concerns
Children don‘t want to be nagged about vitamins, yucky vegetables, and balanced nutrition anymore than we do about a bland and boring low-calorie, low-cholesterol diet. Children enjoy indulging in something they really like and can eat on their own with little assistance. Most kids prefer simple foods – if you can’t find something that fits your child’s tastes, most restaurants will prepare a small portion of plain pasta, potatoes, rice or polenta upon request.
Timing and Length of the Meal
It’s a good idea to know the customary time for dining in the country you are travelling. I once made the mistake of going out to diner in southern Italy at 7 PM. We survived on bread, water and wine up until 9 PM at which time my daughter was not only starved, but exhausted. Need I tell another parent how a desperately hungry and tired child behaves? A nap after lunch and an afternoon snack quickly becomes a ritual before a late night dinner.
Having the main meal at mid-day can be a good alternative. Even the finest restaurants are often a bit more casual during the day and you can enjoy an extended lunch while the kids are still bright-eyed with good attention spans. If the conditions are right you can even order the degustations menu for yourself. Just order the children’s main course along with your starters and then an extra empty plate your child. My girls tend to be more adventurous mid-day and have discovered a lot of new favorites this way. As for desert, the kids obviously need their very own portion and it is truly a lot of fun when everyone in the family orders a different sweet and shares.
Table manners
Adults usually go to restaurants for relaxed, pampered culinary enjoyment. Dining out can be a special treat for kids, too. Letting a child sip a fancy alcohol-free cocktail as adults drink an aperitif and making an extra effort to include him in conversation will make him feel grown-up. If children are made to feel equal and important, it is amazing how gracefully they can behave at the table.
Alas there are “bad hair” days where a good start just doesn’t happen. Children do at times seem to forget everything we have ever taught them. Reprimands only backfire and ruin the entire atmosphere. “Pick your battles”, a friend once advised me. A minimum of respect and sensitivity for other diners merely requires that your child remains seated in his chair and is quiet enough not to create a disturbance. Elbows on the table or talking with a full mouth are rules that are too trivial to take notice of, whereas loud fits of temper, crying or inconsiderate rudeness can obviously not be tolerated. There are times when it is a sagacious choice to admit defeat and politely end the meal, pay, and exit the restaurant as expeditiously as possible.
Crisis Management
A mother’s warm and winning smile can work wonders, not just on her child, but on a snobby churlish waiter or skeptical fellow diner. Calm and humor are infectious. Enjoy sharing your love of the pleasure of dining with your child. And when you’re two year old is discovering her love for Spaghetti al Pesto in Italy and she suddenly stands up on her chair and shouts, “Sneeze! Sneeze! Sneeze! “, calmly pull a tissue out of your “survival kit”, gently hold it to her nose and tell her to blow. Discreetly wrap up the noodle, give her a sip of water and a kiss on her forehead, and then take another juicy mouthful from your glass of Brunello di Montalcino!
